Say 'no' to holiday stress

Create realistic expectations this holiday season with these stress management mantras.

Red button that says No.

Holiday cards and songs convey seasonal bliss, but no one looks forward to the inevitable stresses of this time of year. Here are some simple ways to better handle the hustle and bustle.

Go it alone. No, we don’t mean spend the holidays alone. If you’re with family for a long period of time, you may need “me time.” If you want to go for a walk or see a movie by yourself, know that you don’t have to constantly do things as a group. You’re entitled to take a break and have your own space.

Make a connection. Maybe there’s a family relationship you’d like to improve. This is an ideal time to reflect on that. It could be an opportunity to invite that relative to spend some quality time together, just the two of you. Some ideas? Meet up for a short walk or coffee break, or make a date to see the latest blockbuster. 

Be anti-social (media). It’s not about being a Grinch. If you’re prone to sadness during the holidays—which is common—stay off social media this time of year. Otherwise, you’re going to see other people’s gorgeous Christmas trees, perfectly cooked turkeys, or kids playing harmoniously in the backyard after a Hanukkah repast.

Give yourself credit. Not everyone’s holiday story is perfect. The season is different for each person, and it’s important to respect that. If you’re around family members who criticize, it’s a great time to bolster your own self-confidence. What’s important is how you think about yourself as a good person. Use positive mantras like, ‘I’m caring’ and ‘I’m empathetic’ to reinforce your stronger sense of self.

Resolve to not resolve. New Year’s resolutions create pressure, and why would you want to start a new year with all that stress? If you fail, that just creates even more pressure. The date you decide to make a positive change doesn’t really matter, because you’re the same person on January 1 as you are on March 15. It is healthy to say, ‘Last year wasn’t so great, and I know what I can do better this year.’

Consider life resolutions and don’t watch the calendar. Say, “If this doesn’t happen right away, and I’m still working on it next year, that’s just fine.” That beats unrealistic expectations such as, “I’d better get this done soon or else!”